You told me you were happy. You were happy being alone. You had this sad look on your face when you were telling me, but you were happy.
You were sad to be with me.
I thought if I could just love you more, eventually you would understand. Last night you concluded with “I don’t like you anymore” and walked away. I was gripping at your arm and all you could do was rip what was left of my heart and take it with you. All I had, I gave to you. I kept thinking that if I could just give you more, you’d give it back eventually. Now I know you aren’t. All we had left was “like” and now it’s all gone.
But now the part of me that hates what you’ve done/ what you’ve become is beginning to take over.
And I finally just have this feeling like maybe I will be okay.
I have this feeling like this is the start of a new chapter.
I’m just feeling numb today and I like that more than feeling anything towards him.
So today I’m going to be brave. I’m going to go out into the world and put myself out there. Maybe I will find what I’m looking for.